In college you see a lot of people in a natural state of emotional development. They see something that bothers them and decide what is wrong about the thing that creates that emotion or anxiety. As people mature, hopefully they see something that bothers them and search within for the part of them that creates that emotion. Unfortunately while in the former state they say some pretty judgemental things. In some ways we are always fighting to grow out of this stage or habit.

I used to do a lecture for university classes on erotic art. The first half was about the democratization of what is an erotic image since the internet. The second half was about what we each saw in some actual erotic art.

On topic 2 I would throw up this slide I shot in the early '90s . Invariably most of the students were not happy about a nude woman in cuffs serving a man. In the ensuing discussion I would allow them to get madder and madder as I asked open ended questions about what they saw. Usually they were getting mad at me for being part of a patriarchal media establishment and presenting such an image. It occurred to them the emotions they were having were caused by me. The image and my publishing it on the wall was doing something to them. I was after all a porn producer at the time. I was "The Man" and here I was showing them sexist porn.

Sooner or later one of them always mentioned that the two models looked so similar. Then I would explain what was actually happening in the picture. This image was shot as the model was beginning to transition into a man. She was commemorating the gift she had to give up to the man inside her, to become the person she actually was. We shot it with a green screen and both models were the same person. He is now fully transitioned and living a life as a very handsome young man. I am proud to know him and to have been a small part of his journey.

Suddenly in that context the image completely changes. It goes from being this example of the patriarchy, to one of sensitivity to a very under represented class. In one moment they are seeing a victim who must have been desperate to subjugate herself to such a horrible and degrading image, to seeing the beginning of a victory of self actualization. The emotional flip in the room is so tangible you can feel it.

Then I switch to my real point. When you see something, especially art, that stirs a deep emotion in you, that emotion is yours. It was already in you. No person made you have it. They did not do anything to you. All they did was allow you to see something in yourself. Treat these moments as moments of self discovery. You have no idea what is really going on in the image for the people in it. All you can actually KNOW is what you feel and think about it. Examine that and you will always be learning about the most important person in your life.

I have people react strongly to my art all the time. I enjoy it and hope they can always learn something about themselves when these reactions happen. I think as an artist it is very important to have compassion for people and their reactions. You stir something up in them and you have to feel some empathy for their journey. They may not go where you want or intended. And in fact it is sometimes better if they go where they need to go instead. But still, rather than force an issue, or give them hints, let them explore themselves, consciously or unconsciously and have some respect for their process.